I don't blog often, and when I do, I try to keep it upbeat and about things I love and enjoy! I like to look back and smile at what I've written. This is not like those. This entry is going to be a downer, so be forewarned.
We are currently in the middle of a terrible pandemic - COVID-19.
Covid-19, or simply Covid, is a contagious disease caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). The first known case was identified in Wuhan, China, in December 2019. The disease has since spread worldwide, leading to an ongoing pandemic. Currently, nearly 2 billion deaths worldwide have been reported - and increasing every day. We just can't seem to get a handle...
Add to that, a nation so divided that many of us are becoming fearful, not only of our own government but of people we once shared friendship; days in which people are losing their very livelihood from massive shutdowns and numerous non-peaceful protests; days in which the number of suicides and drug overdoses is as great or greater than even the number of Covid deaths...
So, where is God right now, and how does all this fit into His Plan?
Someone, answer me! I am struggling here!
My niece currently lays in a hospital bed suffering from
Covid-19 - near death. Her husband struggles at home trying to hold things
together with little news from hospital caregivers. His heart hurts because he
can’t be at her bedside speaking soft, soothing words to her. He needs to work
because due to the pandemic, he has only one of the three jobs it took
pre-Covid to make ends meet. The other two jobs are, hopefully, just
shut down and will be there for him when and if we ever see the end to this
madness. He could work his current job except that he has two young children at
home and no one else to care for them. One set of grandparents are both
hospitalized with Covid themselves, and the other, a grandmother, is not in
good health herself. He could possibly work some hours except the
two children are on different school schedules due to the Covid. When one is
physically in school, the other is at home in virtual school, and then they are
both home together. What are working parents to do?
And in this particular case, this family is God-loving and
God-trusting, just as I have always been.
I hate the story of Job. I read it once and refuse to read
it again. I don’t recognize the God in that story, and I don’t recognize the
God in this story.
Let me make one thing clear. My struggle is not in God's
existence. I know, without a doubt, He exists. I am just not sure I know who He
is sometimes. He often grows silent at the very times we need to hear from Him
the most. And I know the cliché answer here - that I am just not listening. But
I am a seeker. I love God and I seek Him every day. He tells me in His Word
that if I seek Him with all my heart, I will find him, and I do want to find
Him. I want to know Him personally – to be in relationship with Him.
But faith is fragile. We are not all Jobs. We can’t all take
hit after hit, after hit, and still climb up and not question His presence -
His protection.
2020 has been a horrendous year. I think most will agree.
But I can tell you without a doubt, that those of you reading this here on Facebook
or on my blog don’t have an inkling of what many people have gone through and
are still going through. It is not comprehensible to many of us. Those people
are not likely on Facebook. They are too busy trying to deal with all the
trials they are facing. They are too busy taking hit, after hit, after hit.
And to make things worse, these are not the worst of times.
When you look back at history and see all the genocides and massacres and
religious persecutions, and plagues, would any of us want to trade places with
anybody during those times? I know I wouldn’t have the courage. And yet, I am
becoming fearful of what I see happening in our own country today.
And I pray – every day, often several times a day. Does it
matter? If what I pray for is not the will of God, does it make any
difference? I know that God has a plan for mankind, so is everything
that’s happening now part of that plan? And if so, in all His great wisdom, why
would He choose such a violent plan?
I often find myself thinking that the only thing that can
help us now is a superhero – one like we see in the Marvel movies. One that
fights evil and wins. One that comes to the rescue of everything good. Too bad
Thor is not real – or the Hulk or the Iron Man. But God is a
superhero and He is real. That’s why we often look for Him in times like this
and when we don't see Him, cry out “Where are you God?"
I actually hurt for Judas Iscariot, the disciple every
Christian hates because he betrayed Jesus by turning Him in to the Romans. I
don’t really believe Judas was evil. I believe he just had faith that Jesus was
a superhero, and a superhero was exactly what was needed at that time to
liberate the people from Roman oppression. I think he believed that if Jesus
was made to fear for His life, he would protect himself and the Romans would
see wrath like none they’d ever seen before. Then when it didn’t happen as he’d
hoped, he was so dismayed at what he had done that he hanged himself. I hurt
for him because I know that Jesus would have forgiven him, had he only asked.
Anyway, so there is my struggle. Where is our
Superhero?
May 10, 2021
My struggle with faith continues. My niece died. Forty-two
years old, two young children who needed their mother, and a husband who loved
her dearly. All loved and trusted God.
The situation in the country still looks bad as our
government remains divided without either side really making the effort to work
together. Their fight has become personal without any real regard for the
people. We are used only if it helps the cause. This pandemic continues to rage
with new variants popping up faster than we can get everyone vaccinated. Most
schools and many businesses remain closed, many of them will never see the
light of day.
Still, no superhero. Where is our Superhero?
